I wish I could admit that the I was confident in my self-worth, or that I always recognized that I was worth loving. The truth is, before Christ I was a mess. My life was a mess. My heart was a mess. My mind was a mess.
Some of us our blessed not to have lived out the difficult consequences of the prodigal son, before turning to Christ. Others must go their own way, and wake up in the pig pen of life. I was the latter sort.
And then Christ found me. He cleaned me, and saved me, and took away my guilt and shame. And every day since they He has walked with me, step by step, opening locked doors that I would initially refuse to open in my heart, so that He could heal me and make me whole.
There have been many, many victories over the years. I have also had my share of trials and tribulations, and consequences of sin.
I have fallen down times without number.
There have been times when I have fallen and, like a child full of faith, immediately looked to my Daddy’s arms to lift me up. There have been times when I have fallen, and like a stubborn and willful child, I lay there, until the cold floor became unbearable enough that I clung to His hand, as He lifted me. And there have been times when I have fallen, full of despair and grief, my confidence lost that I would ever stand agin, when He took pity on me, and took my hand, and drew me up.
And while I remember the victories with great fondness, adoration and thanksgiving. I remember the times where He lifted me with overwhelming praise, love, and wonder at His grace. These are the times when He refined me, and strengthened me. These are the seasons where He showed me that He loved me, and more importantly, taught me to love Him.
The seasons that began with grief so difficult that I prayed for strength moment-by-moment – these are verses for the love song that God personally wrote on my heart.
The very best love song.
If you find that you are going through a difficult season, with God as your only hope of rescue, know that you can trust Him. Cling close to Him, and allow Him to carry you, trusting that this is not in vain. And know that He who works all things for your good, is intricately, passionately, and faithfully writing the very best love song on your heart.
For the increase of our faith: Romans 5:2-5; Romans 8:28-31; 1 Timothy 2:1-6; 1 Corinthians 1:3-10; James 1:2-5, 12-16; 1 Peter 5:6-10